April 2, 2011

Closure can come in many forms, even in the shape of a pie. Today is my day off from the bakery, where I am a baker’s assistant. I mostly work on the pie crust, making pie dough and rolling out the dough, then placing the not quite perfect circles of dough into the pie pans and finally crimping the edges. If you think this is easy, try it and you’ll find out why nobody makes homemade pies anymore. In between I wash pots and pans, do the laundry, sweep, mop the floors,empty the rubbish can and talk story with my boss, the mistress of pie baking, who I lovingly refer to as ” the Pie Lady.”

The first lesson the Pie Lady taught me was, ” Marla, the crust is the heart of the pie”. I nodded, while she gave me a serious look and no further explaination as to what that means. Thus began our pie mentor, pie student relationship at the Pie Lady’s Bakery in Hanapepe Town on the island of Kauai. I am learning that Susan (aka the Pie Lady) is as cryptic in her mid-western ways as the homegrown local Kauaian.

Being a recent returnee to Kauai,after 40 years of happy escape,I find myself surprisingly comfortable in Susan’s bakery especially because it is located in my hometown, Hanapepe. A place I had hoped to permanently escape and erase from my memory. I wanted to forget Kauai. Leave it behind forever. Just press the delete button and move on. I wanted to forget, but Mother Kauai never forgets her children. She remembers and when the time comes, she calls them back. So I came back and this is what I have learned thus far.

Mother Kauai, Mother Aina (land) is equally kind and strict. Since my return home,over these past 2 years, I have experienced and observed her gentle nurturing and patient disciplining of her children born here, those she has adopted and called from afar. Those she has rejected suffer the consequences of their arrogance and greed. Kindness is the key to Mother Kauai’s heart. True love, real Aloha, respect for her, for all her children, “keiki o ka aina”, children of the land, is all she asks. Love and respect for self, family, neighbor and Mother Earth, Mother Aina, Mama Kauai. Mama Kauai is unique among her sister islands. She offers a unique gift to each of her children. The gifts are kept secret until her child is ready to chose and accept the responsibility of such a rare blessing. For me, an adopted child, whose historical ancestry originated from Okinawa-Japan,this secret gift has only now been opened within my heart. It’s been a long journey, a difficult preparation.

Now I am ready to listen. This is the secret gift. I can listen to my own heart and the hearts of others. I can listen and share the stories. I am a storylistener and a storyteller. No moh secret , no moh running, no moh hiding anymoh. It is my time to remember who I am, where I come from, what I want to be. Which is to be well, happy, and to be at peace with the past, present and future. Thus my return home to Kauai and Hanapepe Town and my new baker’s assistant position in a bakery only one year old. I am here to listen and make crust.

I neglected to mention I never ever baked a pie before. Mama Kauai has a sense of humor. She led me all the way back home to Hanapepe to discover not only do I not hate Hanapepe anymoh, I love baking pies. I loved helping my mother, Mrs. Sumiko A. Hamabata, bake pies. Technically, I wouldn’t regard a little girl licking the chocolate pudding pie mix off a spatula being of great assistance, but I guess memory has a way of idealizing things. Anyway, I didn’t really bake anything, but I did enjoy being the official taster. Believe me, back then there was a lot to taste. Chocolate cream pie, banana, coconut, macadamia nut cream pies and my favorite, lilikoi chiffon pie.

Mom was a successful restauranteur of her day. She was the owner of Green Garden Restaurant in Hanapepe. Mom managed, cooked,baked,served, greeted customers, and caught rats. There were a lot of rats back then too. To me, Mom was fearless and invincible. In my child’s mind, she was like a super hero in the comic books. She was SuperWoman, but instead of long blond hair, she had a big black bullet proof beehive hairdo and a muumuu bigger, brighter and better than any red cape. If Mom could fly, she would have. In her Green Garden world, she did. She flew around shouting orders, laughing loud, creating feasts, catching rats and unplugging toilets.

At Green Garden she ruled, defied gravity,and gave you a complimentary slice of pie with your dinner. Mom was an amazing woman, an incredible human being. She raised five children, of which I am the youngest. Our father, Michael Kenji Hamabata, died when I was 2 years old and she never remarried. She carried on the business with the help of her family and when my older sister Gwen, graduated from college, she returned home to help Mom and support us. All five of us went to college and 4 of us attended private high school on Oahu. Our mother, truly was a heroine with enormous strength and a generous love of life. She shared her joy with her food and laughter. Mom loved her family, friends, employees, customers and community. In a way, we were all one family, and the restaurant was her home. She welcomed everyone with her big heart, open arms and a big plate of homestyle island cooking.

I miss her. Mom died on September 10, 2002. She died at home,in Hanapepe, resting in my sister’s arms. I was away then, in San Francisco, where I lived for nearly 20 years. It has been a long journey of healing and reconciliation which continues for me in Hanapepe. It is here where I roll out dough and ponder over my first lesson,    “Crust is the heart of the pie.”