Pie Star: Party at Da Pink Monarch Resort                             April 2016

The last celebrity I recall staying at Da Pink Monarch Resort, the famous five star hotel, on the glamorous shores of Waikiki, was Madonna. It was that long ago, when thoughts of bumping into a “bullet bra,” bikini clad , rockstar occupied my smokey imagination. Just another dull fantasy from a bored, “pot head,” college student back in the nearly forgotten 1970’s.

Then, at the age of 21, learning what drink to order at the bars, how to roll a joint and coming out of da closet were my only real goals. Oh, I also worked hard on getting my hair to look like da disco queen, Donna Summer, too.( Da Closet is confusing; makes a young lesbian do silly things.) Otherwise, there was lots of time to avoid growing up and not much else to keep me busy.

Now, at the turn of the 21st century, at last an old aunty with cropped, gray ( more like saltier than peppery ) hair, I am enjoying the new millennia with what is left of my memory. Since the 70’s, I have not spent much time in Waikiki and frankly never stepped foot in da Pink Monarch Resort. In my youth, during the days before high security, I may have snuck into the royal palm tree lined driveway, hoping to catch a glimpse of a bullet bra. Nothing since has piqued my interest, none that I remember anyway.

Da Pink Monarch Resort, on the island of Oahu, would remain a vague memory, an empty movie theatre, a blank screen in a crevice of my brain, until the spring of 2016. Clear of smoke, relatively free of serious damage, my mind and body would be transported back to Waikiki in grand style. Like Audrey Hepburn, Clark Gable, and Greta Garbo, the classic Hollywood movie stars from the mid-20th century, I would be a guest at da Pink Monarch. ” Why me?” you may be asking. It’s all because da Pie Lady of Kauai (aka Susan) was invited to an award ceremony held there. She was selected to share the stage with Hawaii’s female stars of business and community leadership. Susan was among Hawaii’s most successful business and community leaders, winning awards acknowledging their achievement and for empowering their communities. An outstanding award for any entrepreneur and a truly courageous endeavor for a young, Wisconsin, woman baker starting her first business on a very small, very old, island. Mama Kauai must love Susan and her pies.

Da Pie Lady loves Kauai and her pie makers too. Susan invited her loyal crew: best baker Kay, #1 saleslady Alicia, and oldest pie dough maker (me). Together we enjoyed fine food, festivities and splendid accommodations. Although, by now, she has a long list of hard working, talented employees; we have been with her the longest. The 3 of us are like butter, sugar and flour; we stick to da Pie Lady, da Pie Bakery and each other.

Together we enjoyed travel, fine food, festivities and lavish high tech accommodations all compliments of the Pie Lady. In the privacy of our luxurious rooms, we giggled about the unexpected joy of toileting. The curious discussion about our state of the art, electronic everything, Japanese toilet was awkwardly comical.

Never before have I enjoyed such fun and relaxation in the practice of personal hygiene. I’ll never complain about technology again.

One evening, I lounged on my private, ocean view lanai (terrace) sofa, fluffed up with feathery pillows and silky comforters. Living the dream of movie star extravagance, I decided not to wake up until absolutely necessary. Staring at a more cluttered, yet still stunning view of torch lit Waikiki beach and Diamond Head from high above the crowds, I imagined myself a Princess, like Audrey Hepburn in her classic movie “Roman Holiday.” In my fancy hotel bathrobe, leaning against the balcony, gently rocking to the lull of waves, it was easy to pretend escaping my royal pie dough making duties, to indulge my every whim at the Pink Monarch Hotel, in Waikiki. “Who needs Rome or Gregory Peck! ,” I thought . The Pie Lady of Kauai, is the Queen of Pies this weekend, and I get to be the Princess of Pie dough making. With my sisters, the Princess of Pie Baking and the Princess of Pie Sales, we get to play in the glorious sand castles of Pie Stardom.

Resting on the lanai sofa, high above the swaying palm trees, dreaming of jeweled sand castles and waves of Belgian chocolate cream pie ( a favorite of mine, from Susan’s recipes), a perfect pie slumber fell over me. Then to my sleepy surprise, I was awakened before dawn to observe something most local islanders and visitors miss during the night. What startled me was the sharp, clackity-clack sound coming from the dark beach front of the hotel. It reminded me of the bamboo instruments hula dancers use. The instruments are finely carved sticks of bamboo, held in each hand rhythmically hit against each other in harmony with the dancers movements and song. Much like castanets in the palms of flamenco dancers, the bamboo instruments make a compelling sound. In my dreamy state of mind, I wondered if I was missing a late night dance performance on the beach.

Instead, the reality seemed even more magical. A troupe of Menehune-like humans were setting up large, folding beach lounge chairs in the night. It was done in such precise and efficient fashion, I thought the noise of sturdy chairs unfolding, were dancer’s instruments. The men doing this almost noiselessly, were super human to me. Like the legendary Menehune men from Kauai folklore, they worked in the darkest of nights, building miraculous structures out of stone to help the native farmers and fisherman. This legend comes from the story of the Menehune Fish Pond on Kauai, when over night, huge boulders were moved to build walls in the river, creating a fish pond. Fish ponds were a traditional method of fish farming. Menehunes were said to be very small people with superhuman strength and tremendous generosity of spirit. They helped the Hawaiian people in secret, working at night, surprising them in the daylight.

From my pink balcony, the figures below looked tiny, super busy and super strong. There was no talking or sound other than the clackity-clack of nearly forty chairs ( I counted them) set up uniformly on the beach. A special sand raking vehicle had already finished cleaning the debris from yesterday’s guests. The sand seemed carefully brushed clean like the hotel’s antique rugs. The lounge chairs for the days upcoming collection of sun worshippers were perfectly arranged, like seats in a theatre.

A small army of Menehune-like hotel employees appeared in utter silence, setting up umbrellas, tables cloths, napkins and cutlery for the breakfast service being prepared well before the sunrise. I just couldn’t fall back into my Princess fantasies after watching all of that hard work happen so early, flawlessly and fast. Da Price of Paradise is high not only for visitors, I thought to myself. Before returning to bed, I decided to wash out my dirty teacup. Despite all the silent activity, it was still dark outside, a few hours before dawn. Back to reality, I closed the curtains to the stage of real life and real hard work, closing my eyes to sleep.

The sun shining through the curtains and the smell of coffee served from the hotel’s beachfront terrace woke me up. I got dressed for breakfast with my pretend Princess buddies, Kay and Alicia. Our Pie Queen, Susan, would join us later. She had a early business appointment in Honolulu. There’s a lot more traffic on Oahu than Kauai. My back to reality state of mind did not hinder the anticipated enjoyment of eggs Benedict and Mimosas (champagne with orange juice). I just felt super grateful for the super hardworking hotel staff. The fantasy vacation was the outcome of our real hard work too. Susan’s award was the result of incredible creativity, artful challenging skill, steadfast labor, commitment and dedication. In my realistic mind, her award and the sharing of her winning experience was a gift of appreciation. A real gift, from a woman, in her real, human way, is as strong and powerful as a Menehune legend. Awakening to that reality made me hungry for breakfast.

In the cafe of our hotel tower, we waited for Susan to join us. I lifted my champagne glass of Mimosa to her in private gratitude. Meanwhile, I would return, just for fun, to my Princess (Audrey Hepburn- like) fantasies until the weekend was over.

When the ceremony was about to begin, Susan,(aka the Pie Lady) and her entourage of three happy employees joined the crowds with glasses of wine, champagne, and every sort of treat a banquet of success could provide. When the time came for Susan to receive her award, I imagined her wearing a pie shaped golden Tiara, the Queen of Pie scented with coconut, pineapple and blueberries, waving royally, showering her admirers with glittering cinnamon and sugar. Sitting at an enormous, round banquet table, sparkling white plates were discretely exchanged for new satisfying delights. I paused to appreciate the gourmet presentation of each fabulous course, delivered courteously by formally dressed servers presenting dishes like paintings in a fine art gallery. Then, between applause, I gobbled up dish after yummy dish. Not very princess-like, but “Who cares,” I royally pardoned myself, “ A Pie Princess on vacation can eat all she wants, ” and I did. After the ceremony and much entertainment, the Pie Queen and the young, Pie Princesses went to frolic the night away.

It already was a late night for me. The older, sometimes wiser, Princess, I wobbled back to my room. After a lovely bubble bath and time alone with my Japanese toilet, I fell into a food coma, wrapped in bathrobe, blankets and bliss.

The most important gift Susan (aka Pie Queen) gave us, time to appreciate each other individually and collectively, was da best! Such an elegant, entertaining, gloriously indulgent vacation was an unforgettable experience. It helped me to consider what makes her pies so unusually ono ( delicious ). From sweet and sour to bittersweet, life can be tasted and appreciated for all its complexity, in a simple, round, comforting circle of goodness called pie and friendship.

The unique flavor and quality of the sweet and savory pies from Susan’s bakery not only reflect her, but all of us, past, present and future who work for da love of pie. Da Pie Lady and da pie bakery have grown together with all of our effort, evolution and support from our community. Every forkful of pie, from the puckery- sweet lilikoi (passion fruit) cheesecake to the savory, mouth watering kalua pork pot pie (Hawaiian style pork and cabbage), you can taste the yummy mix of cultures and communities we all come from, respect and serve. The comfort and joy her pies bring to our island make Mama Kauai smile. Mama blesses pie ladies, pie lovers, pie makers and Menehunes one and all. One peace at a time.